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This isn’t sexy for either of us, it’s embarrassing. We miss countless opportunities when we are both in the mood.
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If we don’t have at least 30 minutes plus some time to clean up, we just can’t have sex. It means that we can’t have a “quicky” ever. It’s like my brain says no, you can’t come yet, she hasn’t cum, and my entire body switches into numb mode, and I can never really get out of numb mode completely. It’s like I can’t help it even if I try not to, but I can feel my body change (though I couldn’t describe exactly how) when it starts to feel really good. This sounds great, and it is, but it’s also the problem.
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I’ve gotten really good at going really long. Because the most important thing to me is her pleasure, I have taught myself over the last 20 years to desensitize my pleasure to ensure my stamina is there, such that she can come before me. The problem here isn’t her, though, it’s me. Luckily for me, her orgasms are uncontrollably powerful and, well, wet … very, very wet, so she probably couldn’t fake it even if she wanted to. We only have one “rule” for sex, which we’ve had from the beginning: I will never pressure her to cum, and she will never fake it. I would guess that is about one or two out of 10 encounters, so really, not very often. When she doesn’t, we are both fine with it because, as she describes it, there are just times when it doesn’t matter what we do, it’s just not going to happen for her. While she isn’t impossible to make come, it usually takes a certain amount of intention (which I delight in) to get her there, and she usually does, but not always. The way I look at sex is that my orgasm is pretty much guaranteed with enough friction, as has been the case thus far. I bet in the average week, we have sex four to five times.Įver since I met this girl, the only thing I ever wanted was to please her. We also have copious amounts (at least for a married couple with two kids!) of what most would deem “vanilla” sex, but we wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s exactly what we have always wanted, except maybe the stress that comes with my job, though having an amazing spouse undoubtedly helps. We both have good jobs, two kids, decent house, and even the dog. I married my college sweetheart, and we have had an amazing relationship since the moment we met. Outside of doing these things, how can I assure someone who doesn’t like weight training or sports that I am legitimately into them? Having been shamed for my body growing up I am very aware of not talking about my eating habits, talking about others weight, or giving unsolicited advice about working out to others, so I’m glad that I’m not be obnoxious in that area, but I do mention how I go to the gym as it is a hobby of mine that I love. Whether sexting, flirting, or even after just having had sex, they will express their surprise or disbelief that I would want them usually saying, ”muscle guys want muscle guys.” Many of these relationships whether for continued hookups or dating end up not going anywhere, and while I used to take it personally, I have to wonder if I’m just rubbing up against others’ insecurities. Especially in the early stages, it feels deflating and seems that I have to prove that I am attracted to them. They will often say, “I don’t get why someone like you is into me” or “don’t be disappointed because I don’t have a lot of muscle.” I try to assure them of my interest and let them know that I am pursuing them because I am attracted to them, but if I’m being honest, it’s a bit off-putting to hear these things.
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If I am on a date with someone who is not muscular, they tend to seem insecure. Thanks to this, I have gone on dates with various men, but I have noticed an issue which tends to come up.